Confused

I just need to write this out.

My brother has taken up golf. He's also in law school. (Insert typical joke here.) His wife is a SAHM raising their 2 boys under 3. SIL was asking about "fair trades" - he gets to golf in his free time, so what can she do? I answered that she should get equal time, with equal money to spend, and find a hobby of her own. This time should also come kid-free, since golfing is kid-free. Fair, yes? He's working and going to law school - this accountably takes up a lot of time. She's the on-call parent for two young kids 24/7, which also accountably takes up a lot of time.

I commented to my hubs that I felt this was a good arrangement. I *thought* it was the arrangement we've had for the last (almost) 10 years. Now, I've never actually counted the pennies and seconds to be sure we got equal time/money for hobbies, but I've also never tolerated the idea that I should *only* be a mom when my kiddo was young. I'm definitely an individual, and don't care to be stuck into a pigeon hole. So, when I was feeling overwhelmed and he was going out for beers after work and spending money on hobbies/entertainment, well, I'd hand him the kiddo and go out with a friend, or buy a new book, or something. Anything to break up the monotony of rereading Dr. Seuss.

He said, "Now, wait a minute..." with some kind of weird tone to the idea of equal money/time. And suggested that SIL get a job from home. While this is *a* solution, and one that has worked for us, it's not the only solution. It works for us because of my personality, and the fact that we only have one kiddo. If we had added to our family, adding any kind of even part-time job would have been *much* more difficult. Not impossible, just very difficult.

Tangent: I hated being a full-time SAHM. There were only so many library story times and episodes of "Dora the Explorer" I could take before my brain started leaking out of my ears. When I was pg, I was in school. I got to be around other adults. And after I graduated, I didn't get a job. I thought I wanted to be a full-time SAHM. We thought we'd have another kid. I went crazy. Not certifiably, I-need-a-white-jacket-that-lets-me-hug-myself crazy, but crazy. I needed adult interaction. I needed mental stimulation. I was not getting that from a toddler.

I joined a gym that offered child-care. This was nice. And then they posted that they needed part-time help. I applied, and started working the 4-8 am shift at the front desk. This was better. I got some alone time (very few people work out until about 6:30) and I got adult interaction. AND I could be done and home in time for hubs to get to work. Win-win! This worked for a long time. And I got promoted to desk manager, started working the 8a-1p shift while kiddo went to the child-care. This was even better!

I had so much of what I wanted - kid free time, adult interaction, and a small paycheck. Then, I decided I was done with the part-time crap, and got a full-time job. This blew up, but from the other side. Now I was paying for clothes, and daycare, and gas, and food, and was bringing home the same amount. No one was home to cook or clean, so we ate out a lot. Hubs and I were both stressed, and we weren't connecting. Then hubs started traveling for his job, leaving me to do ALL of it, completely alone.

So, I quit. And we moved for his new position, and I was bored again. New city, no friends, no job. With a pre-schooler that needed more interaction that I could provide. We set up play dates, we tried a church, we went to the park every.single.day. I still had cabin fever. I was ticking off the days til kiddo could start kindergarten. I'm not sure any mom looked forward to kindergarten with as much anticipation as I did.

One day, on an online bulletin board (which is where I finally turned for ANY form of adult interaction, or I was going to start watching soaps), someone mentioned their job. And I couldn't believe that it was a real job! The perks were AMAZE-BALLS - work when the stores are open, on your own schedule, and get paid! The hours weren't many, but I was living in a 24-hour city! So, I applied. That was 4 years ago this Thanksgiving. I wish I could find the person who referred me. One little note on a message board, and I've had steady, flexible, part-time employment for 4 years.

Tangent over, back to the meat of this post. Yes, due to our family circumstances, I've mostly gotten my fun money by working. But when I wasn't working, I know that sharing the money wasn't a foreign concept to my hubs. I don't know what prompted his comment or his tone tonight. But it came off as him not wanting to share the disposable income of our household. So, I asked him to explain his position.

I copped a tone. I have no defense. I got bitchy. But I don't take any form, any level, of misogynistic crap. Ever.

He spluttered, and hemmed and hawed, and didn't have anything. I attacked. I straight up asked him if he felt like "the wife" (not me, not SIL, any wife) was not deserving of part of the income of the household for personal use. He continued to evade. So I asked, "The woman in your life - the one who cooks your food, cleans your house, raises your child and BLOWS YOU - she's not deserving of any money? She can't have part of the household income for her own personal use?" Yes, I was yelling at this point.

He flipped, and said he's not discussing this any more. I pressed, because HEY! That's a pretty big issue to not have an answer for! He started pounding around, and took his dinner and stormed off down the hall, grunting and yelling and pounding on the walls all the way to his "man cave" aka office. He's been in there ever since, about 3 hours.

I don't know what to do now. I can't bring it up anymore tonight, or he'll just go ballistic again. He's not likely to bring it up. Not tonight, and possibly not ever. So, he'll just let it go, and I'll stew about it forever. I have my ideas about why he won't answer this. It's an ongoing problem for me when we argue. I'm not sure I want to know his position on this. I think it could permanently change my view of him. It's already bothering me more than I can say that he won't even discuss it at all with me.

So, what do you think about the issue? If one party of the marriage/partnership is the sole breadwinner, is that person the only one deserving of the disposable income? To be clear, I'm talking about whatever is left over after the needs and house hold functionality are taken care of. Should the other party have to find a way to make some income for their wants? If the disposable income should be split, should it be 50/50? Should the earner get more? And what about time? Does that need to be equal as well? Or should it be that each person gets time according to what it is they will be doing, as long as both partners get time?

I believe that it should be as fair as possible. If one wants to go play fantasy football all afternoon, and the other only wants a massage, I think that's fair. Nitpicking the details of cost/time, etc doesn't work in the long run. Fair to me is only that each person gets what they want, and gets some downtime. That means no kids tagging along, money enough for the activity/hobby/whatever, and enough time to be satisfied with it. And I think that if the partners have decided that one will be the sole breadwinner and the other will be the sole house/child care provider, then the costs for the one at home also need to come out of the household budget, or a plan needs to be worked out and agreed to by both parties for the one at home to earn some money. But it shouldn't just be expected that the one at home gets nothing because they didn't *earn* it. Right?

The Man Cold

I am not sure that I will ever understand why illnesses affect men and women differently. I am always amazed at how my hubby becomes a complete baby when he's sick, and yet I'm expected to just truck on through it.

In the last 6 months or so, I have had 3 separate colds. On two of those occasions, including the one I'm currently fighting, Mr. Eloquence has caught the cold from me. The one he didn't, which I had about a month ago, I completely lost my voice for the better part of a week.

Same colds, same symptoms, same general length of illness. I work, take care of the Diva Kid, clean the house, do the laundry, keep up my PTA duties, etc, etc, ad nauseum. I try to take as much time as I can to rest and heal, and generally go to bed early when I'm sick, but that's about it for time off. These duties are generally don't get done to 100%, but they still get done, period.

My husband, on the other hand, begs off of EVERYTHING when he's sick. He lays in bed from the time he gets home from work until bedtime. He doesn't do anything else, and cancels all other commitments, even for a cold!

It just drives me bananas. He didn't grow up with a mother, he doesn't expect babying. He just shuts down. But I'm still going 24/7. Why is this the norm, and how is it fair??

Quilted Scrapbook Tutorial

If you know my mother, you've seen a book like this at least once. I'm here to walk you through it, so you can have your very own quilted scrapbook.

You can use any size binder from 1" to 3". For this, I'm using 1" books - they are not for family archival. These are for a friend who is hosting an orphan for a month, and luggage space is at a premium.

I just have to wax eloquent for a moment about this fabric. I wanted something tween boy-ish, but with something that would also work for a grown woman who is a confessed girly girl. When I found these packs of fat quarters, I thought they were pretty awesome from the bits I could see. BUT, I didn't open the packs until I was ready to do the books. So I didn't really know what they looked like until I opened them to get going. I AM IN LOVE! Ok, I say that about all the fabric I buy, but this one makes the hall of fame. I want to make .... anything and everything out of this fabric. I wish there was enough for clothes. The neon batiks just speak to me.

Ok, back to the real tutorial. Open the binder, lay it flat, and measure out quilt batting. I like low-loft, you don't necessarily want it super puffy. HOT GLUE! It's a blessing and a curse. Glue the batting down, starting with the corners and working your way around. Trim off the excess.

As for the cover, you can go simple with a single piece of fabric to cover the whole thing. If so, just glue in place over the batting. I went with a paper-pieced quilt block pattern. There are great tutorials and patterns available online or in books or kits. Follow the pattern and make as many pieces as you need. Four of the heart block were enough for this 1" binder, but when we used it for my brother's wedding book that was a 3", it needed a border all the way around to fit. Once you've got the front done, pin and sew a coordinating fabric to the back, then glue in place.

For the inside of the covers, cut pieces of posterboard to fit about 1/2" shy of the edges. Cover with coordinating fabric. It can be the same as the outside, or different, depending on your taste. Also, depending on your book and your taste, you may want to glue in some ribbon or something around the binder rings. just to hide the book-y feel. Definitely do this before putting in the inside covers, otherwise, it's a real pain! Glue the inside covers in place by running a line of glue around the edges of the covers, and zig-zag glue all over the binder.

Now, you're ready to decorate the outside. If you went with a plain fabric front, the world is yours. Add an applique, an iron-on picture, something cross-stitched or embroidered. Glue on beads, flowers, ribbon, whatever. If you went with something quilted, just remember that more is not always better. With the incredibly bright and busy print of my fabric, I kept it simple. On the one book with the yellow border around the heart (which is for the boy) I didn't add any embellishments. On the book with the pink hearts, I used a silver and white ribbon to accent and bring out the heart shape. Simple.

All done! Enjoy your work and the frosty beverage of your choice!

By the way, this and real life are part of what's kept me from blogging since Thanksgiving.

I'll catch up the rest of it as soon as I can.

CARNIVAL!!

The carnival was AMAZING fun!!! Everything went extremely well, despite having to move indoors due to cold, windy weather. I was incredibly pleased with my booth - the Library of Congress!! Everyone else seemed to love it to, and the school's curriculum coordinator asked for my display to put in one of the labs! How awesome is that?!? I'm so pleased, I just can't stop grinning.

The travel trivia game went well also. The kids and parents all liked it AND learned something. We ate too much fabulous food, played games, and overall just had a good time with good people. We really do have a fantastic school community.

I'm dead tired now. Trying to keep my eyes open. Not succeeding. Have a great weekend!

Nov 19, 2010

Ok, I'm a day late. Sue me. You get 2 posts today anyway, so shut yer piehole! (Wow. Yer is a word recognized by AutoCorrect.)

Anyway, after a hell of a start to my regular workday yesterday, I came home and got my stuff together for carnival. That didn't take near as long as I thought, so then I put a couple beers in the freezer, and sat back to sew for the evening. I honestly can't believe I was ready for the carnival the day before.

So, I finally finished the detail on the lord a leaping. Then I started on the lady dancing. I might have these ready for Christmas after all! Yay me!

Too Tired

I am too tired for pictures today. Recap: I finished putting all the book titles on the shelves. They are awaiting their final putting together phase - that will be fun - 8 feet of paper taped together! I finished stenciling in the quotes for my "stone plaques". I re-colored my First Aid poster so that it's truly red and not pink. I looked up trivia about the LoC, North Pole, AK, The Peabody Hotel, and Kissimmee, FL. I promise, it will make sense come Saturday. IT WILL. My to-do list is looking much shorter and more manageable now. I also gathered all my work equipment for tomorrow. I HATE going to the Strip and ad-changing those drug stores. They piss me off!! I think it's time for a muscle relaxant and bed. Srsly.

Nov 16, 2010

Ok, let's talk about all these. I'm to a point where a lot of things are getting done because I'm finally in the final stages. Or maybe I'm misleading myself - that's certainly not out of the realm of possibility. ;) First - the First Aid station sign. Self explanatory. Second - the brown board - my "stone plaques" - there are two of them. They will each have a quote from the Library of Congress about education on them by the time I'm done. Third - my encyclopedias! OMG I am so in love with these! I don't know precisely what it is about them, but they are my absolute favorite and I just love how well they are turning out. Fourth - the monkey blanket, which was shipped out today after I tied it this morning. LOVE the silly monkey fabric. Fifth and lastly - I'm not sure why these were still on the camera, unless I didn't get them up last night, but this is a finished book panel before titles. Which I have been working on today, obviously, with the encyclopedias. Slowly but surely, these will be ready by Saturday morning!!

So here are today's projects, although I don't have pictures of all of them. I finished the painting as seen here. Now all that's left for this section is to let it dry and then write in the book titles and authors. I did get the teddy bear from last week framed, but forgot to take a picture before I boxed it up. And I got the baby blanket to go with it sewn and washed, but it's still in the dryer. I also glued the yarn for the ties, since the last time I used this yarn it totally disintegrated in the wash. I will tie it tomorrow and take pics. I'm so happy, it turned out GREAT! Anyway, now it's late, and I need to get to bed.

Here's the almost finished lord a leaping - I'm missing the thread color for some of the outlining. Guess I'm going to Hobby Lobby tomorrow! YAY!

This other picture is of a project I'm doing for PTA. If you can guess what it is, great. If not, well, you'll find out what it is later this week as I have to have the project finished by Saturday for the carnival. Actually, even if I go to Hobby Lobby for thread, I need to finish this PTA project more. I will be painting for the rest of the week.

Nov 13, 2010

Today, my internet was out most of the afternoon. Blah. Gave me plenty of time to work on this - the 'lord a leaping'. And watch the Harry Potter marathon. I'm so productive when my back is out!

Nov 12, 2010

This turtle dove is the project I did today. Yeah, I said I was going to paint, but my back had other plans. I also did the finishing touches on the partridge today, I finished most of it over a month ago. I did wash the teddy bear from yesterday, it will get framed this weekend, I promise.

It's all done! I purposely hid the name and birthdate, just in case the mom this is intended for actually reads this. Then again, I think I'm talking to myself out here in cyber-space, so why did I bother? Who knows. Tomorrow: painting! And framing this. Over the weekend: Sewing the baby blanket to go with this. And mending the comforter on my bed. Hey, if I have to get out the sewing machine, I'm at least going to make it worthwhile!

Nov 10, 2010

I didn't get any work done on any projects. It's been one of *those* days. I'm just going to go to bed and try again tomorrow!

Nov 9, 2010

Unless I think of something brilliant to post, I'm going to start uploading pics of my works in progress. This is for a friend who had a new baby recently. I worked on it a couple hours last night, and a couple hours tonight. It's coming along quite well and should be done tomorrow for framing on Thursday.

Random Vanity Plate of the Day (or RVPOTD)

RVPOTD is a feature I've been wanting to start for a while now. There are SO MANY vanity plates here, and I rarely see the same one over and over - so many visitors, so many fun things to see and laugh at!

So, for your bemusement:

TEXNLMO

BTL3BRN

I'll let you decipher them. ;)

One Week Later...

I think I'm going to live. It was a rough weekend, and even though I've been taking it easy, the nights were rough on my foot. Today, I'm able to walk with no noticeable limp, and yesterday I was able to work. The biggest difference right now is that I'm slow. The job I did yesterday should have taken about half an hour (at least that's what it usually takes) and it took me an hour. Thankfully my boss is very understanding, and I know the extra time won't be a problem.

We've settled in more. We've gotten most of the boxes unpacked or moved to storage. We ended up getting a storage unit - as much as we threw things out and took truckloads to D.I., we still have too much stuff!! It's just amazing how much we have amassed in 3 years. The (old) house had seemed so huge, but we filled it up quite well, and losing all that space has been rough. I ran the dishwasher for the first time since we moved in 10 days ago - plastic and paper have been a lifesaver, even if they're not so good for the environment. Don't shoot - we are recycling all that we can! ;)

We're still looking for a dining room set and a new couch. We thought we wanted a couch with recliners built in, but now DH thinks that's too many hiding places for scorpions. So we're making do with half of our huge sectional.

Life calls, so I better get up and get doing.

Scorpion Sting

This first part I wrote yesterday, 4/6. We are referring to the Arizona Bark Scorpion, should you want to do your own research. Not that I think anyone would want to. The second part is how I'm doing today, 4/7.

PART 1
I *might* wish this on my worst enemy. But even that seems cruel.

These little bastards are just that - bastards.

I was in the office, prepping my work materials. I turned on the swivel chair for something, my foot brushed under the laptop case sitting on the floor....and BAM! I look down, and sure enough, there's a scorpion.

I started screaming like a banshee, getting DH up and out of bed like a lightning strike. He sat me down and started looking for the fucker. Found it in a box of batteries and killed. Said it's the biggest one he's found to date - my stupid luck.

As I was sitting there, I called my boss - don't ask why, it just seemed like something that needed done. She's totally cool about it, including getting someone to take my stores. I also called my mom and bff to bitch, cuz it REALLY hurt and DH was on a hunting mission.

When my mom called back, I was starting to feel a tickle at the back of my throat, that then spread to my lips. I think I really scared her, cuz most of that convo was "We need to leave for the ER NOW!" Thought I was having an allergic reaction. When I was a kid, I had an allergic reaction to a bee sting or two, but not as an adult.

Turns out, it was just the neuro-toxin from the sting getting to that part of my body. It never got worse, and I'm not dead. It did however, get me slightly faster service at the ER, since no one wanted me dying on their watch. LOL

These little fuckers are VICIOUS. Their neuro-toxin is super concentrated and VERY effective at what it does. IT spread through my foot, then my leg, then my whole body. At one point, it felt as if EVERYTHING in my body was asleep - major pins and needles all over. Now it's receded, and it's just a massive burning pain in my toe and foot. Like, I would rather cut it off at this point than deal.

They gave me ibuprofen and norco, which so far has just made me high and a little nauseous. Which means I don't care so much.

DH says from his reading online that the worst of the pain will be over in a day or so, and then some lingering effects for another week or two. I'm off work til Friday, and then we'll see.

I never thought it would be so bad. I certainly will not underestimate these fuckers again.

PART 2
My toe is like a rock. I can't feel it, unless something bumps it, or I stand up to walk. It's totally paralyzed, I can't even wiggle it. The really weird part is there's no swelling or redness, which is typical of this species of scorpion stings.

We're staying at the Stratosphere, last night and tonight. Maybe even through the end of the week. It just depends on what we can get done. The church (that we don't go to, are members of, but is still awesome in cases like this) is doing their best to get us some unpacking help, and we're getting a storage unit for a bunch of our stuff that otherwise would have been in the garage. We are NOT giving ground to these fuckers.

We had to go back in for a minute today - I had to get all my work materials to a co-worker so everything will still get done. I almost had a panic attack walking back into the office. I was pretty ok in the rest of the house - paranoid, but I could touch things and do things. But walking into the office I just FROZE. I'm usually not like this, but this pain is so much worse than ANYTHING I've been through, including childbirth. The burning, stinging, gawd-awfulness of it is more than I can describe.

I'm alternating the pain pills every 4 hours, which was a bitch all night, but worth it - I was able to sleep in between, and I slept very deeply, with no dreams. Just what I needed. We got up to go to the pool, but it's outdoors and unheated. It was FREEZING. The spa was warmish, but they don't let kids in the spa, so poor Kirin couldn't do anything. We ended up leaving. Totally sucks, because we chose the Stratosphere because it had a pool and was cheap.

THE MOVE

(I originally wrote this on April 1, but it's no Fool. This is really what happened.)

Get a drink and a snack and strap in. This is going to be a long and bumpy ride.

So, this all started last week, on Wed. I picked up the keys, went home for a load of things, and the cable guy called - he was there early because of an earlier cancellation. Fine, I head over while DH is still loading his truck. Find out the place is FILTHY. The carpets haven't been cleaned, everything is gritty with dust, and the broken window hasn't been replaced. Cable guy starts hooking things up while I start calling the property manager to get things DONE.

Cable guy ends up pulling cable through every room of the house to get a decent signal. But he's fine, everything works.

Power and water show up as scheduled and turn on their services. YAY! Same with Orkin, guy shows up and does our bi-monthly pest spraying.

DH brings me some cleaning supplies and I wipe down the kitchen and bathrooms while waiting on this, that, and the other.

Property manager gets the handyman out, who gets a window replacement company out to measure the window and a carpet cleaner called, who can come out that evening. Great.

You'll notice I didn't mention the gas company. Turns out they need 5 working days notice. Which I had found out on Mon, and they couldn't be out til 3/29. Fine, whatever. We'll make do, we're still in the old house through 3/31. Except, come Mon the 29th, we don't have gas at the new place. When we call on Tues (didn't learn this til too late Mon to call) we find out there's something wrong with DH's SSN in the system, and they sent us an e-mail so we could fix it. I ask which e-mail, and it's mine. Uh, no. Never got an e-mail from them. We get it straightened out, and they can come out Wed, anytime after 7am. That's it. No better time frame. Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. Anyway, back to last Wed.

I get Kirin from school and we wait for and meet the carpet cleaners. They did an AMAZING job. So amazing, in fact, that I take down their # so we can call them for our move out cleaning at the old place.

Thurs we get the U-Haul and the movers come. Except the movers get lost trying to find us and show up 2 hours late. But they were really great, and it was so nice to not have to do any heavy lifting. While they and DH load the truck, I run loads with my car, then pick up Kirin from school. We unload the truck into the house, and get the boxes placed where they will eventually be unpacked and stay. Great.

Fri.... I can't remember Fri. Either I've blocked it out, or that was one of the few days nothing major happened. Same goes for Sat. Other than a few runs back and forth, and lots of packing, I think things went well those days.

Sun, DH came to help me work. That was kind of funny.

Also, Sat and Sun, my friend Kelli took Kirin for us, which made things so much easier. We got so much cleaning and packing done. THANK YOU!

One of those nights, while cleaning, I did the inside of the oven door with Easy-Off. Got some on the linoleum. Ended up with HUGE dark brown and black spots. Thought it was burned, and the linoleum was toast. Searched the internet, found out that bleach and elbow grease would get it up. Started soaking and scrubbing, and it was coming up, but slowly. Added a Magic Eraser and BAM! Suddenly, it all came up SO much easier. Linoleum was saved. YAY!

Monday, more packing. Kirin's on Spring Break, and DH has to go out to site. DH takes Kirin, I go to work and get 2 stores done. More packing, and realizing that there's no gas at the new house. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Tues, deal with gas company, pack, do a store, deal with gas company, pack, clean, sleep. Somewhere in here, we realize that they've turned the gas off at the old house. Because of the SSN issue, we can't get gas at the new house, but they can turn it off?
Whatev.

Wed. 3/31 Last day to clean out old house. Need to turn in keys. Only day to meet friend for Spring Break fun. Pedi's scheduled for 2pm. Gas guy coming - sometime. DH breaking down old garage shelves and doing dump runs. Need to grab stuff and clean last stuff at old house. VERY busy day.

Leave at 10 am to meet friend so kids can play at park. Haven't heard from gas guy yet. Get to park, it's windy and cold. Gas guy calls, miss it, leaves message, but no call back number. I apologize to friend, get in the car, all while on hold with gas co to find out what's going on. Turns out, it's our half-hour head's up, gas guy should be meeting me at the house by the time I get there. No one's at the house. I start sorting out the stuff for my next store while waiting. After almost an HOUR I call the gas co back to find out what's going on. They say he's probably been called on an emergency, and who knows when he's coming. He showed about 10 mins later, but sits in his truck for like, 5 mins for no apparent reason. I start taking things out to my car, to signal him that I can't/don't want to wait any longer. He comes in, does his thing, and we find out that the new dryer doesn't work. He checked all the fittings and connections, he can hear the gas flowing, but the dryer won't heat. So I call the prop manager on the way to the old house - I have time to do a little cleaning before the pedis. He says he'll call the handyman and get it taken care of.

Oh, and the power and water are off at the old place, so DH needs his generator to do his take down. I take it to him, but then he needs special oil to mix with the gas to run the thing, and the gas station doesn't carry it anymore, so he has to go to WalMart. Which means I have to take Kirin to the salon with me. Not a huge deal, but not the plan, either. Enjoy the HELL out of my massage - mostly cuz I'm sitting for half an hour with no worries! LOL Friend agrees to come help finish if I'll drive her home. NO PROBLEM. We chat and clean and get done! So does DH. Get the keys back on time. Drive friend to the furthest depths of Henderson, while enjoying a nice chat. Best time of the last week.

Get home. Deep breath. Get computer out. Watch tv. Do normal things and ignore the boxes. Kirin starts screaming - there's a scorpion on her foot. It doesn't sting her, but DH is FREAKED. So, we go up the street to a hotel for the night. They have a pool that's open til midnight, so we go across the street to WalMart for swimsuits (as ours are in boxes only God knows where). We swam and enjoyed the hot tub for a bit, then go to bed watching turkey callers on Letterman. Slept so hard, when my alarm went off at 4 am I couldn't make sense of it (migraine meds).

Enjoy wonderful HOT shower, come home, and go to work. I am so tired, and sore, and BLAH. Work sucks. My hands hurt so much from all the scrubbing I've done for the last week that I can barely hold my screwdriver. Getting down on the floor for the sticker and any low shelved products is MURDER.

Still haven't heard from the handyman about the dryer. I need clean clothes but do not have time for a laundromat. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. I have one more store to do and I DREAD it. DH called an exterminator who will be out tomorrow to take care of the scorpions. He's got GREAT reviews online.

I can't deal anymore. I need to cry or something, but don't have the energy. The only nice thing is that now, I can sit and watch tv, I have a comfortable bed waiting for me, and I had a real dinner. A wonderful friend brought us a meal over. It is seriously FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC to be normal. To watch tv, To play on the computer. And to eat something that didn't come out of a paper wrapper and a drive-thru.

I'm surrounded by boxes, but they can wait. I am not ready to unpack. If I can get my way, I'm seriously not getting out of bed on Sat. Seriously.

Magic Erasers are truly a godsend

I learned something today.

How to clean oven cleaner spots out of linoleum. At first, it seemed impossible. The spots were dark black and brown, and didn't chage at all with hot water and scrubbing. We were sure they were burns and the linoleum was ruined.

Thaks to the internet, I learned that it might be possible to remove the spots. As I started searching Google, I was sure the answer to my query would be "You're SOL, buddy." But, a few different websites all said that bleach, straight up, would do the job.

Here is my list of supplies for undertaking such a job.

Pants that you don't mind getting bleached
Rags that you don't mind getting bleached
Rubber/latex gloves
Bleach
an "eraser" sponge - you know the kind, and generic is fine
Lots of water for rinsing
a mop
music

Change into grubby clothes. Turn on the music. Put on the gloves. Rinse and mopp the floor once to be sure there's no chemical residue from anything else on the floor. Lay a rag over the spots (as many rags as there are spots, don't be stingy), and pour bleach onto it. Liberally. Don't be stingy with the bleach either. Let it soak for a few minutes. Pour some bleach onto the eraser sponge, and start scrubbing. Move the soaking rags around as needed.

If your linoleum is brownish, patterned, etc; than thank your lucky stars. This means you can probably clean the spots to 95% gone, and the rest will blend into the floor. If your linoleum is white, solid, or otherwise likely to show everything, well, you'll be there a lot longer than I was.

Once you've scrubbed the floor to your liking, rinse the floor 2 or 3 times to get rid of all the bleach, and mop to remove. Afterwards, pat yourself on the back for a job well done. If you can still lift your arms, that is.

The "eraser" sponge makes all the difference. I tried using a regular scrubby sponge, and it was working, but it was taking a LOT more elbow grease. The eraser sponge makes it go so much faster.

Ask me

How the low-carb is going. Go ahead.
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I had biscuits for breakfast.
With coffee, made with sugar free syrup, and skim milk.
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Yeah.

In my defense (and it's a pretty flimsy defense), I have been CRAZY busy lately. Haven't done much grocery shopping. So there's not a lot in the house to eat, period. I found a tube of crescent rolls and some cheese, so I baked 'em up. Yummy. But not low-carb.

Yesterday, I spent the morning in diabetes education. I leaned two things. 1: I need to take better care of my feet. I don't need to add amputee to my medical file. 2: Diabetes educators and dr's are killing their patients. And they can't keep their shit straight. We were told 135 grams of carbs per day was a good number to aim for. 135/3 meals = 45 grams per meal. Then they tell us that women can have 3-4 15 gram servings of carbs per meal. 45-60 total. Times 3 meals a day is 135-180. ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY! Just for reference, Atkins allows 20 grams per day in induction (the first two weeks). Then you slowly start adding a little bit and a little bit. I doubt anyone in maintenance Atkins is eating 135 grams per day.

Now, this is certainly better than the average American diet. We eat a LOT of carbs. But then they also tell us to only eat a 3-4 oz serving of protein at each meal. And avoid fat, cholesterol, and salt like the plague. Which is just so wrong! Why are they still pushing carbs at people who can't process them?!? It's not like we force peanut allergic kids to eat peanut butter sandwiches, or celiac patients to eat bread - we know it will kill them! Just like these carbs are going to kill diabetics!

I talk a good rant, but I'm not living it. I'm trying to do better every single day. It's hard. Nothing good for you is ever easy. So I'm working on it, and doing the best I can. I'm GOING to be better. Because I was so much younger than anyone in that room. Like, 20 years younger! Some of them had been diabetic for 10-15 years at the most. So, not even as young as me when they were first diagnosed. That, more than anything, depressed the hell outta me.